Just not able anymore

I wasn't long after my operation and it was 2 or 3 weeks till my 17th :D I got a letter the week i was out to go meet with Dr J Kennedy in the Oncology Heomotology day ward. I cannot remember the day I went up but I went up to meet with him anyway with the support of my aren't who have being amazing through all of it. He explained the type of chemo I would be put on which was called Fol fox and I would get four bags of steroids along with it and another drug called Evasten which helps it work better. The way I would get my chemo would be every second wee on a Wednesday where I would be in at one and get so many mills into me and then take a bag home with me till that Friday and get it disconnected and this would be every fortnight.
I had decided to get a port just on top of my right breast as you would not notice it as much as the line in your arm and you could shower with it and all. So I was scheduled to get the port in on the 14th of September which was done by local antistatic and a sedation so I was a bit sleepy but more like drunk :D. Then on the 15th was when I started the worst drug ever.
In the mean time leading up to that it was my birthday on the 10th and I had a party I tried me best for the few weeks that followed up to get chemo to enjoy it to the max. I had a brilliant night that night and took a while to recover and I was so grateful for that day.
The days past and past after that and i was just so down and upset in myself thinking I have cancer and ill never be normal again why me why?.. But no one could give me answers it just happened I was unlucky.
The 14th arrived eventually and i was so nervous I went to the x-ray room where they would fit the port in and lay on the bed. The started the sedation and out 3 injections in my neck and they were sore and I was so uneasy. I didn't want this :(. I never felt the cut but you felt terrible pressure as they pushed the line up my vein. I felt a lot of pain and was crying and coming in and out of sleep. I remember waking up in the room where you get you chemo and looking down and seeing this thing like a butterfly in my boobie.. I felt weird but it was the needle in it. I had to wait an hour before i could go home and all I did was sleep till the next morning.