Tuesday, 17 July 2012

The operation and recovery

So its been 8 weeks since my operation. Yes i no time is flying bye. So let me take you back to what i remember and how i have felt through it and how i feel now.

On the 20Th of May i was admitted into Basingstoke hospital. They did the usual bloods, ECG etc. I had to drink a drink called picolax to clear me out for the operation. I was okay that day as it had not really sank in. The next day i woke up and as usual more bloods and scans and more of that horrible drink. It  hadn't sunk in yet that in 24 hours i will be going for a major operation. My mam and dad had came over from there apartment to me and keeping me company. I had spoke to the anesthesiology doctor and lots more about what would be happening to me the next day. They day was starting to draw to a close and i remember my niece Katelyn rang me and said to me i don't want you to be sick Lisa i will get my teacher to pray for you. That just broke my heart i cried so hard but on the other hand didn't want to upset my parents. I could not even say goodbye to my brother i was that badly crying. About 9 or so mam and dad left to go to bed as i had a n early start the next morning. I checked Facebook and seen all the comments saying good luck etc, that made me worse and then i got to talk to my boyfriend Christopher. I broke down to him and he reasurred me i will be fine. So i heading to sleep well saying that i didn't really sleep at all. 

The 22ND of May the operation day. Early start mam and dad were over at half five. Mam helped shower me as i couldn't really stand i was that sore. Time dragged on. Half seven came and as the nurse said you ready to walk down, we made our way down slowly. That had to be the most hardest scariest moment in my life. We got as far as the door and it was time to say goodbye. I looked at mam and dad and they broke down so i gave them a quick hug and went on as i was upset. I went into the anesthesia room and was put on the bed. He put a needle in my arm went through the form. Hooked me up to blood pressure etc. The last thing i remember was him saying Lisa im going to give you something to relax you and that was it. I was knocked out and in there care now to get rid of this terrible disease. The operation was 10 hours or more.

Three days passed and i woke up for a few minutes. I could hear all the nurses talking around me saying stuff about a bag on me and all and then i new they gave me a colostomy bag my worst fear in the world. I didn't know much about what they took or how it went as i was still half asleep. My mam and dad came in that evening and i heard dad saying we have to tell her about the bag she didn't want this and i new he was tearing up, I just turned around and said i already know holding back the tears. I told my mam and dad to go back home and relax as all i wanted to do was sleep. The first week is really a blur, there are a few things i remember like them pulling the epidural out, the drains out of my side out which was the worst feeling ever, doctors coming in and out asking questions and all,the nurses washing me and helping me out of bed, small things like that.

As the second week came i was brought to theater again to get new needles in my neck and the old ones out. I finally got off the oxygen and was getting out of the bed more got the tube out of my nose and other tubes out. I also was awake more and was taking oral tabs also so i was making good progress. My nurse Vicky was quite worried bout me as i had broke down to her during the week also about it all and how my belly looks and the bag etc. I was faded to noting i had lost so much weight i scared myself. Vicky said i wouldn't smile or make eye contact with anyone not even my parents. But what do you expect after what i went through. I eventually got the courage to start doing the bag myself which i hate so much and walking out of the room. The day my brother and his husband came over was the first time i smiled in 2 weeks i really loved them being there meant so much to me. I talked to my boyfriend for the first time that week also which was amazing.

I finally started to wonder about how the operation went even though i was told went great but what they had to take from me. I wish that day never came. I was told they took my ovaries, womb, Fallopian tubes, cervix, fatty tissue when they opened me, a bit of my small and large, yes i know that's a lot and the consequences that come with it are worse. I can never have my own family which tears me up everyday seeing how happy everyone is with there little families, although i know there's other options but for now its hard to deal with, im also going through the menopause which is wrong for anybody to go through at my age and im on hormone replacement tablets for the rest of my life. I have been hit with so much bad and upsetting news it so hard to deal with. I know things will just get better but at the moment it doesn't feel like that. Im down a lot in my self and just don't know what to think anymore. I know i just have to get on with my life and leave the past behind. For the people out there who hate there life's for the slightest things makes me sick because people like me have been through so much and ya just cant take your life for granted.

I am doing okay other than the mental part of it. I have been back iris dancing, im starting to drive and i have done a lot since i have been home. My family and friends keep me strong that's why i love them. My boyfriend has been amazing with me he is so good and i am so happy he has stook by me through this makes my heart smile. So i am quite happy but not really there yet. I do feel weak still but that's expected. I don't have to get chemo so that's good and im also getting rid of this bag in august so that's brilliant. So thats my story and thanks to Doctor Moran they got it all so that makes me even happier. A big thank you to all the doctors involved, my family for sticking by me and also my friends and of course my boyfriend. So we just move on from here and get on with my life :)

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