Friday, 6 April 2012

How i have felt bout what i have been threw?

There's no words to describe how you really feel when you hear you have the big C.... I don't think I have never cried as much in my life tbh.. I just kept thinking I was going to die.. :(.. I just tried my hardest to stay strong and keep a smile on my face but at the end of the day half of it was put on. I had to stay strong for everyone and not let them see me sad. I never forget the day I was up getting chemo and my friend was holding my bag and went to the toilet, and these 2 girls turned round and goes oh my god she has cancer haha... I was not one bit impressed when she told me like there is some cruel people out there its not even funny like. Because they think there perfect because there not sick. Where no different although I might feel it sometimes I ma really not. I am still the mad, bubbly and lovely Lisa except with a bad thing inside me.
I got over the hole fact I had cancer when I was 16 quite easily but it did take time. I just kept myself occupied and tried my hardest not too think of it. I still regret not finishing school because I cant get a good job but I couldn't stay as I was so sick and the cold wasn't a good help at all. The only thing I have really learned is never ever take life for granted and go for your dreams. I let so many go away and I hate myself for doing that. Everything will be okay and that's a fact. 
As for now what I found out I am heart broken just to do this all again and its not one bit fair.. But hay life is not fair is it. So I cant be complaining all I can do is hold my head high smile and get on with it and be strong for both me and my family. I got a phone call today from the james's and the news is I have to wait for England to ring to tell me when I can get it.. But it wont be for at least 2 weeks so I have to suffer with pain and plus be waiting for this call. Its actually annoying me so much but nothing much I can do its up to the docs... So I will update you as soon as I can. I just want to say thanks to all my family who have been there for me and my true friends, the doctors hospital and everything being so good to me and also the people who want to help me also.. Really appreciate it :D.. Love You :D... Peace out <3

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