Monday, 26 March 2012

It was all so fast.

That Thursday came before I knew it. As I arrived to see Dr McCormick he had a diagram of a bowel. He explained that I had a large tumour in my rectum just near the end of my bowel. He also said that it had being growing in me for a year or so and he does not know how I got it. It was so rare for a girl of my age to get that type of cancer. He promised that he would do his best to get rid of it or me and I trusted him. He explained that I would be getting key hole surgery and they would remove my appendix too as it looked like it had came from there. I was happy I was going to get rid of it at last. 
The next week on the Wednesday I was admitted to the hospital as my operation was early the next morning. I never slept a wink I was that worried and cried most of the night it was my first operation. I was so scared. The next morning took for ever to come. The nurse came in with  my blue gown and socks to put on, I looked lovely :D... I waited about an hour which felt like a year till I seen the bed outside to take me down. I walked over held back the tears as I said goodbye to my dad, brother Patrick and his partner Dave. My mother cam down with me.
As we waited in the little room to get my hat put on I could see the tears in my mothers eyes, It was heart breaking. I didn't want her to see me go through this. The nurse came over and said are you ready and a that moment me and my mother broke down in tears. My mother was meant to come to theatre with me but she was too upset she couldn't and that was devastating. I went into the room shivering with fear and all I remember was hearing the work horses and that's it .
I woke up in recovery with tubes and needles everywhere. I remember seeing my sister come in to me and all I said was give me my tongue bar. That day was a blur really.
For the next few days my family was up for ages to see me including my nanny I loved it and i had some laughs which made me forget a lot. I recovered quick I was walking after three days I think! I was a week in hospital and on the last day my consultant Dr McCormick who also did the surgery came into me and my family who were also there to talk and let me go home. But I was not expecting to hear what I did hear next. When he operated he found a few spots left over that he could not take away with surgery so he told me I would have to get chemotherapy. I cried like a baby we all did I thought it was over I didn't want to this I wanted it to stop I wanted my life back. 
I never wanted to get chemotherapy but it was going to happen whether I liked it or not. So I went home so sad and upset waiting for a letter to go meet with the chemotherapy doctor who's name is Dr J Kennedy.

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